Q. I don't enjoy giving oral sex (I feel like I'm suffocating) and I'm not very good at it, but my new girlfriend's made it pretty clear she's expecting it anyway. I don't want to make a fool of myself. Can you give me some help with going down there?

A. Quick tips won't make up for hard-earnt experience, but in the name of cunnilingus I'll try to set you on the right track. Firstly, unless her clitoris is near her anus, you can't possibly suffocate. Look at what you're dealing with. If you gently push her outer lips back her clitoris will stand out a little. Some women want you to keep your tongue on the button, others want you to move around it. She might want you to move up and down, side to side, or in circles, hard or soft, fast or slow. Listen for her clues. When she's making the right noises, commit to not stopping until she comes. Oral sex is only hard work if its a chore - bringing someone to orgasm with your tongue is an honour. You could also buy a bikini trimmer for better access, and offer to shave her as part of your foreplay.