Q. I love my girlfriend but our sex life has gone stale. I want us to try sex parties but I'm worried she'll think it's just an excuse for me to have sex with other women. All I want is for us to try something exciting and new - together. How should I broach the subject?

A. How? Think bomb-disposal expert in full-protective gear approaching a suspect package! The results are likely to be explosive - even if she likes the idea. Lots of couples manage it but it's a huge risk to take with your relationship if you've never talked about it before. It's easy to get caught up in the fantasy of it all but have you thought how you might feel watching her writhe in ecstasy with another man inside her? Or that she might never get that image of you with another girl out of her head? Are things so bad you're willing to stake your relationship? Start a little less ambitiously by taking turns to tell your fantasies to each other. Do it in a public place (not too public - you don't want to get arrested) so your desire doesn't interrupt the story. Start a fantasy book, so you can flick to a page and play out a scenario. Try playing in different places, other than the bedroom (outside, in the kitchen, in the garden etc). Sex goes stale when we stop trying - a little effort goes a long way.