Q. I'm in a happy relationship, but there's a man at work I've got a crush on. I'd never act on it, but I find myself fantasising about him. It's almost like I'm imagining an affair so I can get it out of my system. Is this normal or disloyal?

A. Fantasy is part of our sexuality and it's not always logical, predictable or welcome. However, in most cases it's harmless and just part of being human. Even in the most dedicated relationships people can see a stranger and fancy them before realising it. It could be that this man represents excitement and distraction at work. So think about whether your job's really using your abilities and if it isn't, see if you can apply for a promotion or think about a new job. Also, consider what this crush has taught you about your own relationship. Are you in a rut? Perhaps you need to spice things up with a weekend away or a bit of role play? Try to use this experience as a positive one to get more from your life.